Matthew's Birth Story, Part Four: Recovery and Going Home!

The second day of Matthew's life brought some great news! Nathan had gone home that morning to do some things, so I was on my own. I went down to the NICU about 9:00 that morning to check on Matthew and be there for his next feeding, and the nurse greeted me with a big smile. The first words out of her mouth were,

"Do you want to hold him?"

"WHAT?! Really?! I can hold my baby?!"

I was so excited! They had taken the feeding tube out and had Matthew on IV fluids only, but they told me that I could try to nurse him if I wanted to. One of the requirements for his discharge would be that he take all feedings by mouth, rather than through the tube, so they were really trying to get him to eat. They also wanted me to have the chance to do some kangaroo care (skin-to-skin cuddle time) with him to help with his body temperature and respiratory issues. I wasn't complaining!

 Mommy and Matthew - Day Two!

It was a little awkward to try to hold him with all the tubes and wires everywhere, and I was worried that I was going to accidentally mess something up or pull something out.  The nurse was kind enough to offer to take a picture for me, and I really appreciated it so much. Then, I got the chance to try to breastfeed him, which made me so, so happy.

I spent as much time with Matthew as I could. Walking back and forth from the NICU to my room got a little redundant (as did washing my hands 400 times a day). I would walk down there, spend an hour or more there with Matthew, and then walk back to my room. He was on a strict feeding schedule, and was eating every three hours, and I was trying to make a point to be there for each feeding, if possible. By the time I finished pumping or whatever else I had to do (fill out birth certificate paperwork, get my vitals checked, meet with the OB or the pediatrician, sign a million consent forms for a ton of different things, have a quick meal, call or text people to let them know what was going on...), it was time to walk back down there again. Now, I know the nurses and doctors were there, caring for him non-stop, but I'm Matthew's mother, and I wanted to do as much as I could. I needed to feel like I was contributing to his healing, and I didn't want to be in a hospital room alone all day long with nothing to do except focus on my own anxiety.

For some reason, this sign always made me feel nervous.

And it never really got easier to walk into the unit and see my baby surrounded by so much...stuff.

The best news of the day came that afternoon. They were still doing periodic x-rays of Matthew's lungs, and they had done one that morning. On one of my trips to see Matthew, the doctor came over to tell me that the pneumothorax (the hole in Matthew's lung) had completely resolved! It was gone! Wooooohooooo!

That afternoon, Nathan came back to the hospital and my parents brought the kids up to see me. We did take Ethan and Zoe down to the NICU to see their little brother, but it was a huge ordeal. We had to present their shot records for review before they were allowed to go back, and they had to scrub just like the adults. Also, they could only go in one at a time for fifteen minutes each. Poor Nicholas wasn't able to go because there was a vaccination that wasn't written down on his shot record. We decided not to take Anna because she's still so little.

Later that day, we had some other visitors. Joseph and Marissa came with their kiddos, and John and Sharon were there, too. It made me feel better to see everyone, and when they left it was kind of depressing. John bought us dinner from a local Mexican restaurant and brought in a huge (very yummy) chocolate cake.

By the time the next morning (Monday, the 7th) rolled around, he was still improving. The doctor had issued orders during the night to reduce the amount of oxygen he was breathing and also to reduce the flow, and his oxygen saturation numbers had been stable for more than 12 hours. This meant that Matthew was starting to be able to breathe better without help, and those breaths that he was taking were effectively getting oxygen into his system. All good news! 

When I went to visit later that afternoon, I got two more surprises!

No nasal cannula and no IV!

Matthew was happy about it, too. :)

At this point, we were just watching him to make sure that he was going to be completely stable without any help. His respiratory rate was close to normal, his heart rate was fine, he was taking all feedings by mouth, he no longer needed oxygen, he didn't need IV fluids anymore, and his body temperature and blood sugar were normal and being regulated as they should be. I couldn't believe how much progress he had made in just two short days! It was really looking possible that we could be bringing him home very soon, but I tried not to get my hopes up. I wanted him to be completely well before they let him leave, and I knew that only time would tell us if he had totally healed.

That day was kind of awkward for me. I was being discharged from the hospital, but Matthew wasn't. No one seemed to know if I was going to be able to stay there an extra day and be with him, and it took forever for anyone to make a final decision. At some point during the day, my nurse came to tell me that I was definitely going to be discharged, but they were going to let me stay in my room, as a courtesy, for as long as Matthew was still in the NICU, since he was expected to go home soon. I was staying there, and could still receive meals and use the little mini-kitchens they have available for patients, but I could no longer receive medication, sanitary supplies, or medical attention from the nurses. No one was going to come into my room to check on me anymore. I didn't have any access to anything outside the hospital and I didn't have a vehicle there, so I went off meds without any choice. Luckily, I was feeling pretty good and wasn't having much pain.

I have to say, though, that night was a little scary. I was in the hospital, but it was more like a twisted hotel visit. There were so many familiar-yet-scary noises in the hallways, people were always shuffling around, and I was still restricted by a lot of the hospital rules, but I wasn't really "there" anymore. Nathan was at home with the other kids, so I spent that night alone. I tried to avoid being freaked out by staying with Matthew as much as I could. Those NICU nurses probably thought I was clingy, but I couldn't help it. At that point, the NICU was much less freaky than my empty, dark hospital room. All the walking back and forth was really taking its toll on me, however, and I was starting to have some pain. I just had to deal with it, though, because there wasn't a way for me to get any medication. I wanted to go home!!

Tuesday morning (the 8th), I walked into the NICU and saw this:

A big boy bed!!

Matthew was still doing well and totally stable! I waited around for his doctor to come through and talk with me, but he was doing rounds at another hospital. So, I just hung out there for a while with my baby, and then went in search of a quick breakfast. Seriously, the waiting was horrible! Also, there were a couple of other things that needed to happen before Matthew could go home. First of all, we wanted to have him circumsized, but they couldn't do that until he was stable, so it hadn't happened yet. I received word that my OB was on his way over to do the procedure later that afternoon. Also, Matthew needed to have his hearing screened before he could go home.

Just before lunch, Matthew's doctor called my room and told me the best news ever. Matthew was going home! THAT AFTERNOON!! The doctor was almost as excited as I was, and he promised to come and see us again before Matthew "graduated."

I was so thrilled and so ready to leave with my baby!  I ran around my room, packing up all my things and gathering everything that we needed to take with us. I knew I couldn't take it all with me to the NICU, so I put it all in a pile so we could come back and get it later.

Dr. P came that afternoon and did Matthew's circumcision. I happened to arrive at the NICU just after they had taken him for the procedure, so I spent some more time just waiting. I sent Nathan a message to let him know that we were close, and he started heading back up to the hospital to come and get us. Almost immediately after it was over, a woman showed up to do his hearing screen. At that point, we were just minutes away from being able to leave!

 Matthew's last NICU picture!

Nathan got there, grabbed my stuff from my room, brought the car seat into the NICU, and we were ready to load up our sweet baby and go! At that point, Matthew's doctor came back and saw us. He was so happy that we were able to leave, and asked us if we had any final questions for him. His exact words were, "All of the things that brought Matthew to the NICU are completely resolved, and I have no doubt that he is completely, 100% better." Talk about a huge relief! Hearing that, and knowing that I didn't have to be afraid to take my baby home, helped me to relax to the point that I was almost in tears.

We walked out of there minutes later, carrying our precious baby boy! My heart was bursting, it was so full!

Of course, we had to go and pick up the other kids from the Alexanders' house. We hadn't told them whether or not Matthew was going to come home, and we wanted it to be a surprise. They were definitely surprised! There was a lot of excitement in that house, for sure! The cutest reaction came from Anna. I was certain that she would be upset or unsure about the baby, because she's too young to really understand and she's very attached to me. I didn't need to worry at all. She practically jumped out of her chair and was screaming, "Baby! Baby brother! New baby! Look, Daddy, new baby!!"

 She is so proud of her new brother!

As of today, two weeks later, Matthew is doing just fine. He hasn't had any complications or issues relating to the problems that landed him in the NICU, and it thrills me to see how well he is! He's nursing like a champ, which means we haven't had to use any more formula or bottles, and I got to stop pumping! Yay!

We know how lucky we are to have a healthy baby, and are so thankful that he is better. Things could have gone much differently and could have been so much worse! We are very appreciative of all the doctors and nurses at the hospital who were so instrumental in his healing.