Some BIG news!

Note: This post will be super long, so if you don't want to kill ten minutes of your day, you should stop now. Or keep reading. :)

WE'RE HAVING A BABY!!!

I suppose the fourth time's the charm! So far, this one seems to be sticking (and healthy). I really wanted to spill the beans before now, but we decided to wait until we were fairly sure that everything was going to be okay. It's very hard to go back and "untell" people about a pregnancy.

So, to fill everyone in, I've been keeping a little "journal" of all the highlights up to this point. Like I said before, if you're already bored with this, you can just stop reading now. You won't hurt my feelings, I promise.

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I started to get a funny feeling during the second week of September. I totally shoved it to the back of my mind and refused to acknowledge it at all. There's no possible way that God would let me go through this again, right? Then, one night, Nathan made a comment (that I won't share, for fear of embarrassing someone) that made my stomach lurch. Reality hit me like a truck, and I knew that I needed to go buy a test. I finally got the nerve to get one a few days later, while the kids were at my parents' house.

9-11-10: Positive pregnancy test

My gut reaction: “Oh, no. I seriously cannot do this again. Just make it go away. Blink, blink…it’s not really there. It’s not really there! Oh, crap. It’s really there!”

I don’t know who I was trying to kid. The test line showed up before I even got the cap back on the test, and it was way darker than the control line.

 And there you have it.

Darkest positive I’ve ever had (probably because being in denial made me wait a long time to test). I immediately went to full body trembles and weepy tears as I collapsed on the floor of my parents’ bathroom, ready to throw up. I would love nothing more than to have another child (just carrying one past ten weeks would be miraculous at this point), but I was terrified. 

Fourth pregnancy in one year…can I survive this?

9-13-10: First OB call

Placed a call to my Dr. that morning and spoke with one of his nurses. They want to do blood work to test hCG and progesterone levels. Fine, fine, fine…yuck.

9-14-10: Blood tests, round one

Results? Well, I’m pregnant. I knew that already. My progesterone levels were “normal” but my OB wanted to put me on progesterone supplements “as a precaution.” Okay, so we finally got those figured out and had to drive into Austin to have them made for me.

9-19-10: Stopped progesterone

After the worst weekend of my life, I decided that progesterone is not my friend. I was taking a huge risk without the supplements, but I couldn’t continue to take them. The hormone had a narcotic effect on me. I was freaking out; my heart was racing, I was woozy and sleepy, and I was having panic attacks. Not cool. I talked to a nurse and told her that I couldn’t take them anymore. More blood work scheduled for the next Tuesday.

9-21-10: Blood tests, round two

Although I stopped the progesterone, my levels went up! Whew…maybe I’ll just be able to make it without the supplements after all. Thank God, because those things are pure evil in capsule form. I also had a “nice rise” in my hCG level, so something’s growing in there. I went ahead and scheduled my first OB appointment (the big ultrasound day) for October 12. Now I’m in nervous countdown mode.

I’m hoping that we’ll go in there and see a baby with a healthy heartbeat this time. I don’t know how I’m going to survive until then, wondering if I’m carrying another baby that won’t make it. It’s a long time to wait, not knowing if everything will be okay. Here we go: 21 days…

9-27-10: Home from vacation

We just got back from our annual Alexander beach trip at Port Aransas. It was fun, except I got the worst sunburn I’ve ever had in my entire life. That’ll hurt for a while. The best part about the trip? I was very distracted the whole time, and it helped knock a few days out of the countdown. Just 15 days…

10-6-10: Almost there…

Wow. I can’t believe I’ve actually made it this far. According to my calculations, I should be around 7-8 weeks by now, and I haven’t had anything happen that would indicate another miscarriage. Also, I’m feeling pretty darn disgusting these days, and that’s a great sign. I welcome the nausea and food aversions, because I know that means something good is happening in my belly! If I can make it through this weekend, my appointment is next Tuesday! Woohoo! Six days and counting!

10-12-10: First OB Appointment

I just about puked as I walked into the building because I was so nervous. The worst part was waiting an extra long time because my OB was running behind. I swear, I was going to give him another five minutes and then I was going to find and strangle him! He took one look at me and said, “Let’s just have a look before we talk. That will make everyone feel better.”

I was bracing myself to hear bad news, and I knew it was coming. I was just staring at the ultrasound screen, hoping to spy something recognizable. All of a sudden, I see a perfectly formed little bean, with little arm and leg buds! Wait, that’s not good enough, though. We’ve been there, in that exact situation before, and we’ve not seen a viable heartbeat, so the nervousness didn’t subside. Just then, at that moment, I spot a flickering…and it was still going! A perfectly paced, continuing heartbeat! I burst into happy tears, and everyone was smiling.

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What are the chances that this will ultimately lead to a healthy baby, a sixth member of our family? According to my OB, about 95% in our favor! You cannot imagine the sheer relief that passed over me in that moment. I don’t think I would have been able to emotionally survive losing another baby. I do understand that we're not completely out of the woods, but I guess there are always bad things that can happen, even if you think you're in the clear. Life is just so uncertain.

So, we'll keep everyone posted. I'm planning to do a week-by-week update, so if you're annoyed by watching my pregnancy progress, inch by painful inch, then you probably shouldn't be checking my blog very often. :) I want to do it, and that's all that matters.

In closing, I would also like to say that I am completely thrilled to have several very good friends as belly buddies!! You guys know who you are...I won't give you away just yet!

Houston Zoo

Last Saturday, I piled into the Mommy-mobile with Grammy, Granddad, and the three munchkins to head for Houston. Why, you ask? Well, we wanted to check out the Houston Zoo!

Worth the drive? Absolutely! Was it a mistake going during the weekend while there were Halloween festivities going on? Oh, yeah. Okay, it really wasn't that awful, but it was pretty crowded, which limited our ability to do some things. All in all, it was a great trip and we will definitely be making a return trip sometime.

We had to go before the end of October, because there is a "Dinosaurs!" exhibit there right now, only until the 31st. The boys (especially Nicholas) are really obsessed with dinosaurs right now, and I just knew they would love it. I did not know that they were animatronic, so that made it so much better!

Look at those smiles!

 At first, they thought the dinos were real. 

It took some convincing for them to get close.

Check out Ethan's face. :)

Zoe was too freaked out, so she stayed with Granddad.

Traumatized child.

The zoo in Houston is basically like a huge, gorgeous park. The scenery is beautiful and the animal exhibits are amazing. It's a really nice place to spend the day. They also have a lot of different animals to see.

We spent a lot of time at the jaguar exhibit, because we got there just as the keepers were putting out pumpkins full of raw meat. Interesting. The boys love jaguars, so we thought we'd hang around and watch to see what the cats would do. It was pretty neat!

Here, kitty, kitty...

At the elephant exhibit, they allowed the newest baby to come out for a little while. I couldn't get a decent picture because of the crowd (and the exhibit bars), but it was the cutest, tiniest thing I've ever seen. It was only three weeks old! There was another baby there, significantly bigger, that was five months old. So cute!

We had a good day. The kids enjoyed it, despite having to walk a LOT and being pretty tired.

They also got to ride on a carousel for the first time, which was funny. Nicholas was the only one brave enough to actually sit on an animal and ride. 

The other two had to sit on on of the regular little seats with Grammy and Granddad. Chickens. :) Ethan finally decided to climb on an animal once the ride was over.

 

If you have a whole day to kill and you don't mind the drive to Houston, go check out the zoo. It's pretty, and there are lots of things to do and see!

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day

Any woman who has suffered a miscarriage, an ectopic pregnancy, a still birth, or the loss of an infant knows exactly how heartbreak feels. This is a day to remember those babies. Did you know that 1 in 4 women will suffer a loss? That is the same statistic as women who will fight breast cancer. That's 2000 women a day in the US alone!

I'm posting this for my three angels: February 6, April 9, and July 18. Your mommy loved you from the moment you were created, and I will see you again someday!

Life's a beach...

Wow. I'm really behind. To be fair, there has been a LOT going on over here, so it's been a little difficult to actually sit down and type something. Also, I had a lot of pictures to sort through and edit, so that took some time. Cut me some slack. :)

So, September 24-27 we went on our annual Alexander beach vacation. It was really great (aside from a few little hiccups/mishaps), and the kids had a blast!

 Nicholas was so excited to be there!

Ethan, proudly writing his name in the sand.

Zoe and Daddy.

The weather was beautiful while we were there!

A few thunderheads, but it only rained at night.

The second day, we spent a long time out at the beach in the mid-morning. I got the worst sunburn I have ever had. Bad, bad, bad. It's STILL peeling...weeks later! Not a pleasant experience, I'll tell you.

On Sunday, the day before we left, Nicholas started running a temperature of 104. I have no idea what happened. He had no other symptoms, and once we got his fever down, he was back to running around and playing! Also, the poor child got attacked by the insane swarms of mosquitoes that were hanging around that weekend, so his face was all swollen from being bitten. Poor kid...

Sick little monkey.

Also that day, Zoe almost lost her left eye. She stumbled and hit the sharp corner of a glass coffee table with her face. Such a close call!

Nice, huh?

Anyway, apart from these things (and the mosquitoes), we had a good time. 

Feeding the gulls.

The kids loved all the sharks outside the stores.

 On the ferry, going home.

We got home safely on Monday afternoon, shook the sand out of our belongings, and started the 473 loads of laundry that it was going to take to get us back to normal around here. Why are vacations so much work? Oh, well. It was nice to break the routine.

Austin Zoo

On September 18, Nathan and I piled into the Suburban with three kids and Grammy (my mom) to head to the Austin Zoo. We had never been, so we were excited to check it out after hearing some good things from others. I was trying to keep my zoo bias in check after spending so much time in San Antonio, because I know that Austin can't begin to compete with that...yet.
 

Rather than really being a "zoo," the Austin Zoo is really an animal sanctuary, as the animals have been rescued from many unfavorable situations. Some of them were pets that ended up being abandoned or unwanted, and others were saved from a life in the circus. Apparently, the staff has to turn away lots of animals on a regular basis because they simply don't have the space or the financial means to care for so many. It's kind of sad!

Prairie dogs

Yeah, we were really close to the lions.

Can't do that in San Antonio.

Oh, my!

 There are lots of goats, sheep, pigs, etc. that you can hand-feed.

The kids really enjoyed it.

Jaguar.

The boys' favorite.

Ethan enjoyed dragging Zoe everywhere.

Zoe just enjoyed walking around outside.

 I think he wanted to eat us.

 Llama face!

 The Reptile House.

Feeding more goats.

All in all, I would say that the Austin Zoo is a great place to visit. There are some definite pros: nice variety of animals, clean exhibits, the ability to see all the creatures up (really) close, super nice scenery, and a really friendly staff. It's also really easy to get to (not to mention pretty close to home).

The downside? Well, it's a little pricey for what you're getting, but I know that the zoo has to have money to operate, so that's not a huge issue to me. I felt more inclined to donate money to this zoo than to the more commercialized zoos I've visited, so I suppose that's good. The only other thing that really bothered me was the whole "natural landscaping" thing they have going on. I think it's great, but there isn't a single sidewalk in the entire place, and my kids spent several hours tripping on huge tree roots in the middle of the paths and throwing mud. It makes it a little harder (and messier) to navigate around the park. The land isn't very level and the paths are not smooth, so it would be hard for a handicapped person to visit the zoo. That's a very small gripe in the grand scheme, I suppose.

I would absolutely recommend the zoo, especially to people with kiddos. It's small enough to make a nice day trip without completely wearing the kids (or the parents) out. There are also lots of shaded picnic tables, so be sure to bring some munchies (or buy them - they have a snack shack!). Go check it out now that the weather is much cooler!