And again...

I was hoping that I might be able to announce that we were having a baby in a few weeks, but I'm afraid I do not have that news to share. We are now at our third loss this year. The good news? There doesn't seem to be a single thing wrong with me. At least I've discovered that I'm good at something. It's important to have a talent.

Did you know that at least 1/3 of all pregnancies (or more) end in miscarriage (in the first trimester)? That means, ladies, that you've probably had one and just didn't know it. Unfortunately for me, I know my body very well, and I can tell when I'm pregnant (before a test would even give me a positive result), so I get to watch the whole thing happen.

My OB did an ultrasound and blood test, and basically said that everything is fine. We grilled him with every question we could think of, and he feels that we're just in a rut of bad luck. He said that he could start running tests for autoimmune disorders, but seriously doubts he'll find anything. I agree with him. If I had an autoimmune disorder, I'd probably know it by now. Anyway, we're just going to track my hCG level down to zero to make sure everything was expelled, so that means another blood test in a couple of weeks. As of Monday, the level was only 18, which basically tells me that this baby probably never even started to develop. He said to wait a couple of cycles and try again. We shall see, I suppose...

Nathan took me to Subway after the appointment, since neither of us had eaten anything the whole day. As we were walking in, I remembered that the last time we were at Subway together was following my D&C in April. For some reason, this struck me as humorous. At least when I lose a baby, I get a meal out of it! Hey, what else can I do at this point but laugh? I told him that I was a shoe-in for Most Miscarriages of 2010 for the Guiness Book of World Records. I mean, we could get a few more in before December. There might be some financial rewards in store. Then we could build another addition onto the house, hire a maid, etc. It might be worth it, in the end. :) 

You guys know I'm only joking, right? I am upset, naturally. There is, however, nothing I can do at this point but wait and see, so I'm waiting. If we're not meant to have more children, it's okay. I love my three more than anything in the world, and am so lucky and blessed to have such incredible, intelligent kiddos. They're also much, much cuter than anyone else's kids...sorry. I don't really think our family is complete right now, but if that is the case, then I'm prepared to accept that.

Who wouldn't want more?

They're so stinkin' adorable!

I have so much to be thankful for, and I feel selfish for wanting more out of life. I suppose that's normal. I love spending time with my munchkins and my wonderful hubby, and I can't imagine being without them. One day I hope to see the babies I lost, but I will spend every second I've got loving the babies I have.